Cue Pharrell Williams’ Happy Song

It’s been so nice at home these last two days, since Scott has been here. I’m really feeling pretty darn good and would have been ok without him today, but they aren’t very busy at the shop, so he stayed home one more day and has me stocked up with food for the rest of the week and even into the next. I’m so spoiled…and loving every minute of it!

I thought it might be too uncomfortable sleeping in my bed with my belly stretched out straight, so I slept in my recliner the first night. I tried my bed last night and it was not too bad. I did get up and sleep in the chair for a little while when I got tired of being on my back. Side sleeping is not an option!

I am trying to get up and walk around the house regularly. It actually feels very good with my binder on. By the time I finish my last laps later this evening, I will have over 5000 steps today according to my Fitbit. I’m staying on one level, because I don’t think stairs are a great idea yet, so it’s a pretty boring route. I find ways to amuse myself though.

I told you about the three surgical drains I have and how they tend to get in the way all the time. I have them safety pinned to the bottom of my shirt on the sides, two on the right and one on the left. With my binder slung low on my hips and my swinging drains, I feel like a gunfighter protecting my domain! It honestly made me giggle when I thought of it and Scott thought it was comical too.

Because I am so curious and interested in this whole process, I finally got to take a good look at myself in the mirror yesterday. Surgeons sure do like to use a lot of black permanent marker! I have a hip-to-hip incision under my belly button where they took the tissue to rebuild the breast. My tummy is definitely firmer, but a little full right now due to the slight swelling. I have an incision around my belly button (black marker there too) and I’m pretty sure it is a little higher than it used to be. All of the incisions are covered with a clear tape that has ridges. It is starting to come off around the belly button, so I don’t think it is absorbable, but is simply temporary until it falls off.

May Be TMI Alert

They took a section of my belly skin shaped like a boat. I’m assuming that is the “flap” they always refer to, but I’m not sure. I’m anxious to ask my surgeon about that. I believe the fat tissue, artery and veins are attached to the flap. They took out the tissue expander I’ve had in there since they performed my mastectomy, they stuffed all that belly tissue in there, attached the artery and veins to areas within the chest wall to ensure blood flow, stitched the flap to the opening in the breast, and “voila” brand new breast that is all me and not some foreign material! It is fascinating!

Now the thing you have to imagine, is the fact that this old belly skin flap of mine has not seen the light of day for years! Think white…very white…pale, red-headed complexion white. Stick that little boat shaped white flap of skin in the middle of a poor breast which suffered some pretty wicked radiation and recovered extraordinarily well, but still has a slight pink tinge. Add to that the lovely black marker and what we have is a new breast that looks very much like a smiley emoji, without the eyes! I’m dead serious…I have this guy 

for a boob! I didn’t just giggle at this thought, it made me laugh out loud! It is so fitting for me and reflects exactly the joy I wanted to be surrounded with throughout this process. Once the black marker wears off and if I heal as well as I have from my previous surgeries (very little scarring, if any) and the irradiated skin returns to normal, it won’t be there forever. But I’m going to love my happy, little mammary for as long as I have her. She’s endured a lot with me and she deserves to be a happy girl too!

We go back to KC for a post-surgery check on Monday. Hopefully, the drains will be removed then and the real healing will begin.

Have a great week! Love you all!